A story of hopeful love, turned to violence and murder

This is something I decided to share on all of the blogs because I feel that through Mildred Muhammad’s pain, society as a whole can see yet again a bit of insight into a Domestic Violence Victim.  Here is a Survivor that dealt with the “hidden” affects of DV, those that aren’t seen but leave deep scars.

“But in general this book is about domestic violence when there are no scars — the domestic abuse that strains the victims' credibility in some minds because there are no broken bones or blackened eyes, and because the perpetrator is such a smooth monster, and John Muhammad was certainly that. He once told his wife, “I'm going to fix it so that no one will ever believe you or want you.” Imagine that, after John Muhammad kidnapped his and Mildred's three children and fled with them to Antigua, where he stayed for 18 months. There were people who knew where her children were, but for whatever reason (maybe, they were afraid of John, too) wouldn't give Mildred any relief.”

This is something I feel that anyone dealing with those going through Domestic Violence should read.  I have yet to read the book myself, but from what I’ve read and heard, it sounds like there were warning signs that could have prevented this monster from removing himself from “Behind Closed Doors” into becoming a monster that thousands feared.  We’ve all “met” the monster, now I feel it’s time to meet the Survivor……

A story of hopeful love, turned to violence and murder

Betty Winston Bayé • October 27, 2009

One day my ex-husband and the father of my children will be executed. I am still processing this fact. … Until that day execution seems like just another word. I cannot begin to comprehend how I will feel when this day comes, but I will have to lead my children through their grief.

MILDRED MUHAMMAD,
author of ‘Scared Silent'

The man that Mildred Muhammad loved, married in 1983 and bore three children for was a charming liar and cunning manipulator. He's John Allen (Williams) Muhammad, aka “The D.C. Sniper,” who in 2002, with teenager Lee Boyd Malvo, engaged in a three-week killing spree during which 13 people were shot, 10 of them fatally. The two also are implicated in other murders in Alabama and Tacoma, Wash. Their D.C.-area victims were randomly chosen as they engaged in the most mundane things: mowing grass, pumping gasoline, walking across a mall parking lot and waiting for a school bus. Thus, the terrifying fear as people wondered who would be next.

When they met in Baton Rouge, La., John Williams cast himself as the handsome prince come to sweep Cinderella off her feet. John immediately went to work on Mildred's heart. His tears appealed to her sensitive side as did his tale of a sad childhood in New Orleans, where his mother died of breast cancer. John had big dreams and once looked Mildred in the eye and said, “I'm looking for someone to share my life.” That did it for Mildred, who said that John had her at a disadvantage because “my ideas of how a man should behave in a relationship were all romanticized and based on television, movies and hearsay.”

What Mildred didn't know was that John was already married. Buy the book to learn the rest of that story.

But in general this book is about domestic violence when there are no scars — the domestic abuse that strains the victims' credibility in some minds because there are no broken bones or blackened eyes, and because the perpetrator is such a smooth monster, and John Muhammad was certainly that. He once told his wife, “I'm going to fix it so that no one will ever believe you or want you.” Imagine that, after John Muhammad kidnapped his and Mildred's three children and fled with them to Antigua, where he stayed for 18 months. There were people who knew where her children were, but for whatever reason (maybe, they were afraid of John, too) wouldn't give Mildred any relief.

Perhaps John Muhammad suffered post-traumatic stress after serving in the Gulf War, but even before he joined the Army, there were clues that he may have been a troubled young man. When things didn't go his way — even if it was while playing tag or Monopoly with his children — John would pout and change the rules.

Mildred's story of life with an abusive man who became a notorious killer is the tale of a woman fighting desperately to save her sanity, her physical self and her children. Hers is also a story of the power of prayer and friends and strangers who intervened. At the back of the book, there are resources for domestic abuse victims, for the people who love them or who simply want to gain a better understanding of the complex issues involved. The book even includes a “safety plan” with advice on how to prepare to get away from an abusive situation and what to take when you leave.

With John Muhammad behind bars, Mildred and her children finally are free from the terror. She remarried in 2007. Her son is in college, and her two daughters plan to attend colleges of performing arts. Mildred is on the speaking circuit; she's on the board of several organizations; consults with the federal Office for Victims of Crimes; and she's created “After the Trauma” to assist victims of domestic violence.

But for all the good stuff, a fairy-tale happy ending is still elusive because, as Mildred said, there's the execution to be dealt with, and she wrote, “My brain still has difficulty coming to terms with the fact that John was going to kill me; that I am not supposed to be here. I was supposed to be a statistic. And at times, my imagination still presents me a gruesome and graphic picture of a bloody, dead me.”

Original Article

Job Posting

A full-time salaried position is open for someone who is fluent in both English and Spanish to work with the Spanish-speaking and English-speaking communities at the Coalicion Para La Paz en la Familia, part of Family Violence and Rape Crisis Services of Chatham County.  This position was recently created, and the person in the position will help shape the role, according to the description below...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Family Violence & Rape Crisis Services (FVRC)

Bilingual Advocate/SART Team Coordinator

Job Description



Overall Goal:  To be an effective member of the FVRC team.  Each person’s position fulfills an important role in meeting our mission of promoting peaceful homes, building safe communities and empowering individuals and families to heal from domestic and sexual violence.



FVRC Team Commitment:  We have a commitment to putting clients needs first.  This is the responsibility of every member of the team, regardless of one’s specific job duties.  We further commit to perform our work in a manner that upholds our core values:  safety; empowerment; innovation and competency; diversity and collaboration; social justice.



Basic Function:

            Coordinate the Sexual Assault Response Team (SART) and provide advocacy services to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.



Responsibilities:



SART Team Coordination



·         Provide staff support for the SART—recruiting members, developing agendas, maintaining minutes, scheduling meetings, following up on action items

·         Develop and maintain working relationships with SART members

·         Facilitate the development and implementation of interagency sexual assault protocols

·         Participate in training efforts sponsored by the SART

·         Coordinate community awareness efforts in conjunction with SART members

·         Assist in developing reports as required by funder(s)



Advocacy



·         Accompany victims to magistrate, court, law enforcement, hospitals, etc. as needed

·         Provide crisis intervention, safety planning, and advocacy

·         Share back-up coverage for crisis line volunteers after hours

·         Provide court advocacy, information and referrals and assistance with protection orders

·         Supervise bilingual outreach workers

·         Assist in outreach efforts for the Latino community

·         Record and maintain accurate statistics and case files.

·         Participate in team meetings, staff meetings and community meetings as requested.



Reporting:       The Bilingual Advocate/SART Team Coordinator reports to the Co-Executive Director.



Minimum Requirements:         Prefer BSW or Master’s degree in Social Work, Counseling or related field.  Extensive experience and training may substitute for degree.  Experience in collaboration efforts preferred.  Excellent communication skills required.  Must be bilingual in both written and spoken English and Spanish.



Interested parties should send or fax a resume and cover letter, along with a list of references, to Jo Sanders, Co-Director, FVRC, P.O. Box 1105, Pittsboro, N.C. 27312, (919)542-6414 (fax) or to jo@fvrc.org.

Job Posting

Position Available:

Domestic Violence Program Director

Ashe County Partnership for Children is seeking a Program Director for A Safe Home for Everyone (A.S.H.E.), a domestic violence and sexual assault awareness and prevention program.  Competitive salary and benefit package offered.  Submit cover letter, resume, and salary requirements to sarahw@ashechildren.org.  See www.ashechildren.org for job description.  Equal Opportunity Employer.

Job Description

Ashe County Partnership for Children

Job Title:	A.S.H.E. Program Director	Reports To:	Executive Director
Classification:	Exempt	Department:	A Safe Home for Everyone (A.S.H.E.)
Effective Date:	October 28, 2009

Job Statement:  The A.S.H.E. Program Director provides oversight and supervision for all aspects of A Safe Home for Everyone, the domestic violence and sexual assault awareness and prevention program of Ashe County Partnership for Children (“Partnership”), including the thrift store Threads of Hope.    The A.S.H.E. Program Director supervises a Case Manager, full-time and part-time Shelter Managers, and the Thrift Store Manager.
Duties include, but are not limited to:

1. Develop policies and procedures using best practices for client services (domestic violence and sexual assault), shelter management and thrift store operations.  (Policies are ultimately approved by Board of Directors; procedures are approved by Executive Director.)
2. Supervise the shelter staff and day-to-day operations, including scheduling shifts.
3. Supervise and mentor all program staff.
4. Research new grant opportunities and write applicable grant proposals to ensure continuous funding of program.
5. Ensure all statistical data is gathered by appropriate staff and entered in the database in a timely manner.
6. Work with Finance Director to ensure monthly and quarterly grant reporting is completed.
7. Recruit, train, and schedule volunteers. 
8. Create and update manuals for advocates and volunteers.
9. Maintain and update the Shelter Manual.
10. Coordinate all community outreach efforts for the program, including development of written materials (flyers, brochures, posters), and speaking engagements.  Community presentations should occur regularly to educate the public on domestic violence and the role A.S.H.E. plays in the efforts to end the cycle of abuse.
11. Ensure there is a coordinated community response training with law enforcement and other interested community representatives.
12. Provide back-up case management and crisis intervention to clients who call or walk in.  Ensure the administrative office is open during business hours to allow for walk-ins.
13. Rotate on the “on call” schedule to provide client service coverage 24/7.
14. Maintain budgets for A.S.H.E. administration, thrift store, and shelter.  Work with Executive Director and Finance Director on budget revisions.
15. Coordinate and implement fundraising activities according to Partnership guidelines.
16. Staff the A.S.H.E. Advisory Council and prepare reports for the Executive Director and Board of Directors.
17. Participate in community meetings (i.e. Interagency, Children’s Collaborative/System of Care, etc.).
18. Participate in meetings and/or conferences regularly on domestic violence and sexual assault to remain up-to-date on the latest research and best practices.
19. Ensure phone line is covered by staff or trained volunteers.
20. Participate in the hiring process for all staff in the A.S.H.E. program.
21. Collaborate on program development and evaluation efforts in the family services and domestic violence prevention community.
22. Participate in all activities of the Partnership that include, but are not limited to, Board meetings, committee meetings, contract reviews, events sponsored by the agency, trainings sponsored by grantors, or other trainings and conferences deemed important to the function of the job.
23. Represent the Partnership to the community through participation in events, and in collaborative work groups as needed in a positive and appropriate manner.
24. Any other projects, tasks or assignments considered necessary for the well-being of the agency.

Qualifications:  To perform this job successfully, an individual must be able to perform each essential duty satisfactorily.  The requirements listed below are representative of the knowledge, skill, and/or ability required. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions.

Specific Requirements:

1. Education and/or Experience:  Bachelor’s degree from a college or university with preferred focus in Social Work or related field; and four (4) years supervisory experience and/or training in domestic violence prevention or equivalent combination of education and experience.
2. Understanding of current theory and best practice for domestic violence and sexual assault prevention and awareness. Knowledge of legal regulations and shelter requirements. Administrative and managerial skills and experience.
3. Excellent oral and written communication skills.
4. Ability to build mentor relationships with volunteers and community members.
5. Knowledge of health and human service agencies in Ashe County is highly desirable.
6. Computer skills that include word processing, spreadsheet and graphics skills.  Ability to use or learn to use email and internet/intranet applications.
7. Ability to read, analyze and interpret financial reports and legal documents. Ability to respond to common inquiries or complaints from clients, health and human service agencies, regulatory agencies or members of the community.
8. Ability to write reports and proposals. Excellent grant writing skills.
9. Ability to effectively present information to management officials, public or community groups and/or directors.

Certifications, Licenses:  Valid driver’s license
Safety, Security and Confidentiality:  This position requires keeping complete confidentiality of all client information and protecting the confidentiality of all Partnership information, files and records.
Physical Demands:  The physical demands described here are representative of those that must be met by an employee to successfully perform the essential functions of this job.  Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions. While performing the duties of this job, the employee is regularly required to sit, speak and hear. The employee is occasionally required to stand and walk.  The employee must occasionally lift and/or move up to 25 pounds. Specific vision abilities required by this job include close vision, and ability to adjust focus.
Work Environment:  The work environment characteristics described here are representative of those an employee encounters while performing the essential functions of this job.  Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with disabilities to perform the essential functions. An individual in this position will be exposed to conditions typical of traveling office staff.

Job Posting

Local Access to Coordinated Healthcare (LATCH)
Division of Community Health
Department of Community and Family Medicine
Duke University Medical Center
Durham, North Carolina

Local Access to Coordinated Healthcare (LATCH) is a bilingual (Spanish/English) care/disease management program that strives to improve the health and access to healthcare of uninsured Durham County residents.  http://communityhealth.mc.duke.edu/clinical/?/latch

LATCH is currently seeking qualified candidates for the following full-time (40hrs/week) position:

Bilingual (Spanish/English) Health Education Specialist:  
Through a combination of in-home and telephonic care management, the Health Education Specialist will assist LATCH enrollees to navigate pre- and post-specialty care, with a focus on addressing patients’ chronic diseases, such as diabetes, hypertension, asthma, and self-management skills.

The Health Education Specialist will conduct individualized patient education about chronic diseases and to improve patients’ ability to manage their chronic disease and overcome any barriers that might impede their ability to do so.  Barriers might include:  financial, emotional, social and environmental issues related to their diagnosis, illness, treatment, and/or life situation (counseling, food, clothing, housing/shelter, Medicaid, bills assistance).  Based on patients’ needs, the Health Education Specialist will coordinate referrals and facilitate access to community agencies and resources.  

Candidates should possess the following skills and experience:
        Fluency/proficiency in English and Spanish, both written and verbal;
        Recent experience conducting in-home case management, patient navigation and patient education with patients with chronic diseases;
        Experience and/or degree in Community Health, Public Health, Nursing, Social Work, Psychology, Health Education or related field;
        Familiarity with Durham County’s healthcare system, social services programs and other community resources;
        At ease working with individuals from diverse backgrounds and cultural belief systems;
        Motivated and self-directed with a capacity to independently manage a patient caseload;
        Ability to work effectively with medical professionals, community agencies, and clients in various settings;
        Team-oriented and able to maintain positive working relationships with co-workers;
        Excellent organizational skills, flexibility, and ability to prioritize work demands;
        A valid NC driver’s license and a clean driving record.

To apply for this position, mail, email, or fax a cover letter and CV/resume to:
Stephanie A. Triantafillou, MPH
Program Coordinator
Local Access to Coordinated Healthcare (LATCH)
411 West Chapel Hill Street, 3^rd Floor
Durham, North Carolina  27710
Email:  Stephanie.triantafillou@duke.edu
Fax:  (919) 613-6899        

Angel Romero
Health Education Specialist
Local Access to Coordinated Healthcare (LATCH)
Division of Community Health
Department of Community and Family Medicine
Duke University Medical Center
PO Box 104425
Durham, North Carolina  27710
Office phone: (919) 613-6530
Cell: (919)812-4357
Fax: (919) 613-6899
angel.romero@duke.edu
web: http://communityhealth.mc.duke.edu/clinical/?/latch

NCCADV’s White Ribbon Campaign

Men Who Stand for Change…

Honor a man in your life for taking a stand against domestic violence

WHY:

• One out of three women will report being a victim of domestic violence including physical and sexual abuse by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.

• The man you honor will be personally and publicly recognized.

WHO: Anyone can honor a man!

• Communities of faith may honor their faith leaders.

• Wives can honor their husbands. Girlfriends can honor their boyfriends.

• Family members can honor their son, father, grandfather or uncle.

• Community groups may want to honor their leaders.

• Men can honor other men.

• Schools may honor their teachers or principals.

HOW: By making a $50 contribution in the man’s name to the
North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

JOIN US!
5th Annual Men for Change Awards
Keynote: Jonathan Williams, former Deputy Secretary, NC Dept. of Crime Control & Public Safety
Nov. 17th, 2009, 6:30pm to 9pm
Capital City Club, 410 S. Wilmington St., 21st Fl., Raleigh
Heavy Hors d’oeuvres & Carving Station, Cash Bar
Suggested donation of $15 at the door
For More Information and to RSVP:
Visit www.nccadv.org or call Camilla Eubanks at 919.956.9124 ext. 26
White Ribbon Campaign
Men Who Stand For Change
Name of man being honored: __________________________________________________________________________

His organization and title (if applicable):_________________________________________

His Address: __________________________________________________________________________

His Email and Phone:_________________________________________________________

Your Name: ___________________________________________________________________________

Your Address: ___________________________________________________________________________

Your Email and Phone: ___________________________________________________________________________

Please share information with us about your honoree and why you are honoring him. We will post this information on our website at www.nccadv.org.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Please Send this Form and Your $50 contribution by November 9^th to:
NCCADV, White Ribbon Campaign, 123 West Main St., Ste. 700, Durham, NC 27701

The North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCCADV) is a membership organization of over 90 domestic violence shelters and programs across North Carolina. From public policy advocacy to specialized technical assistance to emergency and crisis funding, NCCADV is working to end domestic violence. We believe that domestic violence is a community issue and we must take a stand together to increase our response to domestic violence. With your investment and partnership, we can work together to end domestic violence.

Gifts of all sizes are appreciated by NCCADV and are fully tax deductible to the extent allowed

N.C. identifies 7 more violent inmates that could be freed

 

October 25, 2009 11:44 PM

The Associated Press

RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) — Seven more violent criminals could potentially be freed because of a court ruling and good conduct credits, North Carolina prison officials said Saturday. (See 27 inmates and their crimes)

The men join 20 others who had been preparing for their release, but the future of all the prisoners remains uncertain.

Earlier this month, the North Carolina Supreme Court ruled in favor of prisoner Bobby Bowden, who argued a 1970s state law defined a life sentence as 80 years. Time-off credits allowed some like Bowden to get a day-for-a-day for good behavior, and 20 inmates qualified for release.

Their release had been scheduled for Oct. 29.

But that was put on hold after Gov. Beverly Perdue said prison officials didn't have authority to apply the credits to inmates in prison for life. On Thursday, Perdue said that she was "appalled" by the court's ruling, arguing that the General Assembly never intended to give the Department of Correction that kind of authority.

Now, Perdue is preventing their release until the issue was resolved in the courts.

The Associated Press has reported that the original 20 inmates have racked up more than 250 infractions in prison for offenses such as fighting, weapon possession and theft. Records show the violations go as far back as the 1970s but also appear as recently as 2008, raising questions about whether the prisoners are reformed.

Each one of the 20 inmates has at least two infractions, and combined they have a total of 256.

They have repeatedly been denied parole. Seven of the original inmates set for release were once on death row, and all but one of them have been convicted of murder or rape, including several who targeted young girls.

Of the seven inmates whose names were released Saturday, three have been on death row, and all have been convicted of either murder or rape. Officials are still working to notify their crime victims that they could potentially be released, prison system spokesman Keith Acree said.

N.C. identifies 7 more violent inmates that could be freed | freed, identifies, inmates - Local News - Gaston Gazette

Victim details escape from violence

By TOBY TATE and DIANA MAZZELLA
Staff Writers
Thursday, October 15, 2009

Jessie Croom doesn’t enjoy sharing with others how her life quickly went from fairy tale to nightmare. But she does it to offer hope to other victims of domestic violence.

Croom, program manager at the Family Violence Coalition of Yancy County, was the featured speaker at Albemarle Hopeline’s Candlelight Vigils in both Currituck and Elizabeth City this week.

About 40 people attended Wednesday evening’s vigil at the Currituck County Courthouse. Another 100 or so, bundled in jackets to keep out a cool wind, attended Thursday evening’s event outside Museum of the Albemarle.

Both events were held to commemorate the memories of the 62 women and men who have died so far this year in North Carolina as a result of domestic violence.

Croom said she never imagined she’d end up a domestic violence victim when she met her first husband, a Naval officer who also happened to be her boss.

A commanding officer fraternizing with a subordinate is “a no-no in the military, but we were all about breaking the rules,” Croom recalled.

The relationship was at first a whirlwind romance, and after a year of dating Croom and the man she thought was the love of her life decided to get married.

“He resigned his commission as an officer and planned the whole wedding,” she said. “We got married in front of Cinderella’s Castle (at Disneyland).”

Everything went well at first. But then, three months into the marriage, Croom said her husband hit her for something that she had said.

“He was very sorry but said he wouldn’t have hit me if I wouldn’t have said what I said,” Croom said. “After the honeymoon, everything changed and I became stupid and worthless and I thought, “My God, what have I done?’”

Croom said the episodes of violence quickly escalated, resulting in broken bones, black eyes and blo...Victim details escape from violence - News | DailyAdvance.com